I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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