it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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