the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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