It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
