I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
