Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
