4 words: hood of his car
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
