My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize