Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
