come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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