Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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