He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
