He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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