so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
