My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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