and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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