I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just want nice things and good sex
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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