you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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