cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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