Only a mothe r could love this liver
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
