just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
