When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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