i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
