Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
