PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
