some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
