i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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