No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
