I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
pray to the hookup gods
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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