Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I faked an abortion last night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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