I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
