what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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