What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize