Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
