Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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