I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
