Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
