Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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