I CAN MOONWALK!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
