at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
