We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
