If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
