why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
