I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize