About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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