I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You need a sexual gate keeper
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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