i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
