Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Need sex. Gaining weight.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
