This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
be right there i have to get my cape
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
