I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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