capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize