im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
