how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
we're so committed to being not committed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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