he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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