I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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