dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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