He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
