So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
