what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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